Perspective

     New administrative appointments came out this week.  I was thrilled to be placed at one of my current schools and another school nearby.  The next morning I found out that the principal I admire and emulate is being moved to the district office.  She will be wonderful there, just as she is with us.  The promotion is bittersweet for her.
     I felt sorry for myself for losing her, sad for her, and angry at myself for not being worthy of taking her place.  Instead of replacing her, a brand new principal will take her place.  I felt horrible that district people didn't see me as good enough to take her place so I could promise things wouldn't change.
     Another woman was placed as an assistant principal at the same time I was placed.  She sent me an e-mail Friday congratulating me on my new assignment.  She ended the e-mail by saying, "The District must have a lot of trust in you to have you there helping her."  Her words got me rethinking the situation.  Maybe, instead of thinking they thought I was doing a bad job, maybe they felt confident that Jill would be able to go to the district office because I am strong enough to support a brand new principal as she learns her job.
     I am so grateful for the people in my life who help me see things in new ways.

Love is Like That

     After 22 years, I walked away from the classroom.  I never had plans to move into administration until my fifth student committed suicide.  It was no longer enough to love the kids in my classroom.  I knew I needed to start changing the ways schools work.
     It was the hardest decision of my life, and the kids made it even harder.  The district I work for only takes applications twice a year, and people have waited years to be chosen.  I applied in October just to get my name in the pool, happily content to keep teaching.  Two days later I had an interview and two weeks later I had a job.  Had I known I would be leaving in the middle of the year, I would have waited.  My 7th graders cried - even the boys.  Some of the girls cried for twenty minutes in the bathroom.  My 8th graders yelled at me.  "How could you do this to us?"  "Don't you care about us?"  "Don't you like us anymore?"  Ouch.  If they only knew how my heart was breaking at leaving them.
     It's been four weeks and a new semester has just begun for them and for me.  The learning curve is way beyond uphill.  It is loop-the-loop at 150 miles-per-hour.  I am unprepared for what I am doing and lost is an understatement, but love is always like that, isn't it?